Our God - Chris Tomlin

Merry Christmas!

I cannot believe another Christmas has come and gone! Avery was a lot of fun this year, and we've really enjoyed watching her opening gifts and having fun with her new things. More than anything, however, we've just been so thankful and appreciative of how healthy and vibrant she is this year. We were lucky enough to get to see my brother, nephew, and Jake's sister and nieces from out of town this year, and as always, spend time with the rest of our family on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I feel especially blessed this year, and I am so thankful for not only my family and friends, but more importantly Jesus, who gave it all for me. He never ceases to amaze me, and I can't imagine a life without Him! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, and makes the most of the New Year to come!

Christmas Eve
Avery and all of her cousins: Izzy, Emily, Lilly, and Kali

In her PJ's, ready for Santa!


Christmas Day!
Santa Came!




Avery loves her new kitchen!

Hat and Apron compliments of Mrs. Linda Turner

Mommy and Daddy's Present...sweet love!


Christmas Day at GG and Papaw's in Vicksburg

Avery and her cousin, Cooper, on his 1st Christmas

Enjoying her new chair with her new friend, Scout!

Happy Anniversary!

Today is Jake's and my 4 year anniversary- I cannot believe it's been 4 years. We spent Monday and Tuesday on the coast at the IP and it was very nice. I had a few melt-downs prior to leaving Avery, but once we were there, I only got weepy-eyed a few times. She had a great time at Grammy's, and even learned a new word, "cow." Our room was really nice and roomy, and had a pretty view of the bay. Mrs. Connie sent a nice bottle of champagne along with some delicious chocolate covered strawberries (my favorite) to us on the first night, which was so throughtful. We ate fantastic food, were able to go see a movie for the first time in about 2 years, and indulged in a couples massage at the spa! Needless to say, we had a good time! I am very thankful to have such a loving, caring, good-hearted husband. He helps me with everything, and is always there when I need him. Not to mention, he is one awesome dad! He's everything I hope for my daughter to have in a husband one day, so that's saying a lot! Here's to a wonderful 4 years with many more to come! Happy Anniversary Jake!

Christmas Break!!

Oh my, so many things going on this week, and so much to be thankful for! My wonderful husband, who I am so very proud of, graduated with his Master's degree from Mississippi College last night. It has been a long time coming, and honestly, I don't know how he didn't give up after all we went through with my pregnancy and Avery's circumstances while working full-time. Thankfully, we have lots of love and support from family and friends, so that helped A LOT! Today, my older brother, Mike, is coming in from Texas with my sweet nephew, Jener. I hate I won't get to spend much time with them because we'd already planned a trip out of town, but will make the most of what we have! I haven't seen them in months, so am glad I get to visit with them before Christmas! On Monday, Jake and I will be leaving Avery for 2 nights to head to the coast. I know she will be fine, I just hope that I do ok! She is now 18 months old, so it is time, I guess, to spend a few nights apart. With Jake graduating and our 4th anniversary coming up next week, we needed to do something fun. A mother of one of Jake's players is graciously getting us reduced rates and comps to stay at a casino/hotel she runs, so that made it very difficult to say no! I am so glad to have the next two weeks off, and am thrilled that we are in a much better place than we were last year at this time with Avery. I plan to spend lots of QT with her and Jake, and fully enjoy this Christmas! I know it will be a lot of fun watching Avery open gifts this year, and discover what Santa leaves out for her! She is such a mess, and really funny these days! I am afraid she loves attention, and she cuts up, just like another Bell I know...Jake! So it seems there is much to look forward to in the next week or so! I hope everyone truly has a wonderful Christmas and New Year! Please remember to pray for those I have posted on the Cross Healed Hearts site and FB page when you can. Just one prayer does more than you can ever imagine for another's circumstances! God bless, Megan

I am more!

I often feel like God speaks to me through music, and since my pregnancy, I really feel like he uses Tenth Avenue North a lot, lol! "Don't you know who you are, what's been done for you?" I tend to beat myself up at times, and it's just something I need to hear. I am more than the choices that I've made, the sum of my past mistakes, and the problems that I create because I've been remade. God loves me in my imperfection, and in spite of all the wrong I have done. Thankfully, I am on a much brighter path at this point in my life, and I try a lot harder to be who God created me to be, but there are so many moments that I fail him (sooo many), and there are so many moments that I am ashamed of the past and dissatisfied with who I am in the present. Hearing those words reassures me that he may be disappointed, hurt, or just flat out angry with me, but he will never leave or forsake me. So the next time you begin to feel worthless or down and out, remember, "don't you know who you are, and what has been done for you?" John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." That is what has been done for us all, and if that won't lift your spirits, I don't know what will!


You are More- Lyrics by Tenth Avenue North

There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You've been remade
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.

Tenth Avenue North - You Are More

Oh, how time flies...

Christmas 2009:





Avery has grown and changed sooo much in the last year! I love looking back at her pictures, but it makes me sad at the same time! Thankfully, she is in much better shape, health-wise, for the holidays this year. She is so full of life, and we are so very thankful! Last year, I asked my dad to build an Advent tree (found a pic in Pottery Barn), so I could count down the days until Christmas as a tradition with her. There are, of course, 25 days numbered on small doors that open where you can stick small items each day. I decided since Avery is small this year, to just put a little chocolate candy in the compartment each day- did I mention she loves chocolate??? Any way, she's been opening and closing the doors since I put it out, playing with it. On Dec. 1, I snuck a Reese's cup behind door #1 and lead her to open the door. She thoroughly enjoyed the treat as you can imagine. The funny thing is that ever since Dec. 1, she has been going to the Advent tree at almost exactly the same time every day looking for her treat! She opens the door, then begins to point and stamp her foot impatiently saying "uh-uh!" Once we open the door for that day, and she gets her chocolate, she is one happy little woman!
We decided, for 2 reasons, to just do a small, 4ft tree, on the table this year. Reason 1 is that we actually have our house on the market, and didn't want to move the furniture around, etc., and reason 2 is that we have an 18 month old and were scared to death she'd pull the tree over multiple times by the time Christmas rolled around this year! Did I mention Avery is into everything, lol? Any way, her baby-sitter told me that she heard the rustling of paper the other day in her living room, and when she looked up, Avery was completely under her tree on all fours, pushing a gift across the floor trying to get behind the tree. When the sitter said "Avery," the little munchkin looked at her, smiled, sat on her bottom and patted the present like, "I just thought it looked better in this spot, Nell-Nell." I do have to admit that I really miss having the big tree up, but I keep telling myself that I can wait until next year.

A few more Avery-tales...

"Didn't Mommy tell you that it's rude to point?"

Jake was working on his laptop in his recliner for school a week or so ago, when Avery tried (and succeeded a time or two) to tap on the key board. Since he was in the middle of typing, and didn't want her to delete something, he pointed at her and said, "No Ma'am!" Avery retaliated by biting him on the very finger he was pointing in her tiny face! I have to give it to her, Daddy and "no" isn't very believable due to the fact that she doesn't hear the word from him very often. ;)

"My name is Avery, and I like to dance!"
Avery's newest dance moves resemble a pretty cool spin move similar to one dubbed "the helicopter," a swaying motion, spinning in circles, and holding both hands over her head then dropping them down to her feet. At times, she is busting a move so hard, that she literally bust it on the floor, lol!


"They say red-heads have tempers."
Avery has always had a flair for the dramatic, but lately, she has become quite the actress. When she is rather unhappy, she begins her scene by flapping her hands. If you are holding her, she begins to arch her back making it very difficult to hold her. When you put her down, she throws her head back, screaming at the top of her lungs with her eyes closed. She really gets into her part when she lays out on the floor face down. After a little time has passed, she begins to roll all over the floor, and may even crawl across it. She always makes sure to non-chalantly look over at mommy and daddy to be sure we are watching her.

Happy Holidays!

This is my favorite time of the year! It's so amazing that Jesus left his throne in Heaven to come to this earth just to save us. There is no greater love!

Avery's Dedication

Today was Avery's Dedication at church which was a very special day for Jake and me. Before she was born, I knew that she belonged to God, but I hoped He'd allow me to just be her mom...even if it was just for a little while. Being able to stand before our church, and make our commitment to raise Avery in a Christian home, just made things official. Being a parent is already hard, and she is just 1! There is no way I could do it without God's help. It's such a huge and scary responsiblity to raise a child, especially with all the world has to offer. I just hope the things I do to make the biggest impact are the right things. Even though there are many thoughts that trouble my heart when I think of the future, I am so excited to tell Avery about all that God has done for her. I wonder if she will ever be able to wrap her brain around it because it still blows me away. My mom and dad came over for the service which was nice. Mitch and Jake's mom and step-dad have other ministry obligations, so they were understandably unable to attend. I was worried, because Avery has a yucky cold, and even threw up last night because of all the drainage, etc.!! She did great when we got on stage, and didn't begin to fuss until the prayer! That is when she decided she wanted down. I think she was distracted at first by the lights and all the people staring at us! Any way, she got a special pink bible with her name on it, a certificate, and a neat letter from Brother Scott and Mrs. Christi to read when she accepts Jesus one day. Just another precious moment to add to our collection, and another reason to feel blessed!

An excerpt from: One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven by Mark Cahill

"The church is filled with hyprocrites."
I was talking with a yuppie in the mall one day who had no faith in God, but said his parents were committed believers in Jesus. He blamed all of the hypocrites for keeping him away from church. I asked him, " If I walked up to you drinking a beer and smoking a joint, and shared Jesus with you, what would you think?"
"You would be just another freak in the world."
"You are exactly right," I said, " That makes me 100-percent wrong, but that doesn't make God wrong at all." I was trying to help him make the distinction between the actions of followers (or supposed followers) and God's character. I continued, " There are hypocrites in the mall, and it didn't stop you from coming to the mall. There will be hypocrites in the restaurant tonight when you and your girlfriend go out to eat, and it won't stop you from going there. So why in the world would you let hypocrites stop you from finding out about the one true God who loves you unconditionally and wants to forgive all of your sins?"
He liked the answer so much that when his girlfriend walked up, he had me repeat the entire answer for her!

Avery's Dedication

We will be dedicating Avery next Sunday, November 21st, at the 11:00 A.M. service at our church, First Baptist Brandon.

Avery Notes

"Bruiser"
I was in the living room, checking my email Sunday night, and Jake and Avery were back in our bedroom getting ready for bed. All of the sudden, I hear "Avery!" and then Avery screams. My poor baby lost her balance, fell back and hit her head, then fell forward and hit her left eye! When I got back there, Jake looked at me, sort of covering her face, and said, "Don't freak out, but she is bleeding a little bit." He knew I would freak if I saw it! She had scratched her eye, and it began to swell along with the knots on her eye and forhead. I didn't freak on the exterior, but on the interior, I thought I was going to be sick! I just can't stand it when she gets hurt. I really feel like I'm going to pass out or something when it happens. Jake handles it better at first, then you can tell he feels awful once she has calmed down. Oh, the joys of parenthood, lol! She is such a tough little thing! Jake said he may nickname her after her Uncle Mitch, "Nails." I, on the other hand, have been calling her "Bruiser."

"Daddy"
Avery and I went to a little baby shower dinner at a local bistro Tuesday for Anna. While we were waiting on everyone to arrive, a guy and his wife walk in. Avery looks and him and says "da-da." I laugh because the guy has on a t-shirt, wind pants, and a Red Sox cap on backwards, and is an athletic build like Jake. I told her "No, da-da is at work." We get to the table, and she sees him again, and does the same thing. It was just too much, lol, when she completely turned around in her high chair, pointed, and yelled "da-da, daddy." She could not figure out why her "daddy" was ignoring her, and she probably wondered what he was doing with that other woman!

The Little Gymnast"
Avery has begun to sort of stand on her head lately. She puts her head on the floor as if she is going to flip herself over or do a head stand! I started flipping her over in a somersault, and she thinks it is a lot of fun.

"Madame Digs A Lot"
I know I say often that she is into EVERYTHING, but she really is. My munchkin loves to pilfer through things, especially bags. She is perfectly content pulling everything out of cabinets, drawers, and bags. Who needs toys???? This may be the reason my usually kept house is always a mess these days! She pulls things out, puts them back in, and repeats. Next to dancing and "Yo Gabba Gabba," it's her favorite past time!

"Fussy Pants"
I find it much more difficult to take Avery places these days, especially when she gets tired. She is usually super good for the most part, then towards the end of our time somewhere, she becomes quite unruly. She begins to squeal, and completely twists and arches her back to where I am unable to keep my hands on her wiggly little body. She likes to let the red-headed temper shine for all to see. I know this makes my own mother extremely proud, since I was such a hard headed little monster at Avery's age.


"Reality"
The reality is, that no matter how sweet, fussy, messy, cute, funny, clumsy, etc. that Avery is, she makes my heart melt. I'm just so overcome with love every time I look at her, that I could cry! She is such a beautiful blessing, and God has totally changed my life through her. I worry about her often, then give it back to God because I know she is always in His hands. He has proved that to me. I can talk to Him about something one day, and He has taken care of it by the next day. He keeps encouraging me to be fulfilled in the moment, and not to worry about tomorrow today. While it can be ever so challenging to live that way for me at times, that is my aim each day. After all, she is growing and changing soo fast, I don't want to miss a moment of the now with worry about the later.

More Fall Pics

Avery?

We're not sure what is up with Avery right now. She began acting rather sensitive Friday, and has continued since. She cries at the drop of a hat, and is easily scared at random times. She begins to cry uncontrollably, and Jake and I have no idea what causes it most of the time. We just assume that it's because she started feeling bad, but it almost seems like she is traumatized at times! She did it at the sitter's house Friday, the Turner's house Friday night, the Pumpkin Patch Saturday, and then again Sunday morning and Sunday night in the church nursery. At the Turner's she did it after we took a picture with a camera flash, so we thought it may have scared her, and then Sunday morning, they brought a video camera in to get footage of her for their welcome video, so we thought that may have frightened her as well. However, the other times, there was nothing around to trigger the behavior.
Other than that, she started the usual clear, runny nose with a cough about a week ago. It has continued, but with no fever or chest congestion. We know she has fluid on both ears because of last week's ENT visit, so we thought they could've become infected. Yesterday morning, she began having diarrhea continuously (AGAIN), which gave her sensitive little bum diaper burn (AGAIN). She's been taking unusually long naps too. Poor Jake took her to her Endocrinology appointment yesterday (alone), and when her got her out of the car seat, she got diarrhea all over him and her! Then, she went ballistic (sp?) in the examining room, and wouldn't let him weigh her or ANYTHING. They had to weigh Jake holding her and subtract his weight. He was so stressed out by the time I got home! We scheduled another Pediatrician visit for today to check things out.
This morning, she woke up early screaming, while I was getting ready for work, and it took a good while to settle her down. I was totally upset leaving her, because I just hate seeing her like this. I had to peel her off of me to give her to Jake, and it killed me. I took off half a day, and met Jake at Dr. V's office. Avery screamed so loudly every time someone came in the room, that I had to pretty much speak in a yell, lol. I realize it's normal for children her age to cry at the doctor, etc. It's just so hard to tell when she it's something normal with her or a bigger problem. Dr. V checked her ears, and the left wasn't infected. I had to hold Avery down for her to pull some wax out of the right, but she couldn't tell whether it was infected or not (it's so hard to see in those tiny canals). No chest congestion still and she couldn't tell too much about her throat because A had been drinking orange gator-ade! Any way, she sent off for a stool sample, and put A on a different antibiotic upping the dose. She told me to keep her home for a few days until she starts feeling better. Poor little munchkin- we just hate seeing her like this, especially since she's usually so happy.
Thanks to all for prayers! On a brighter note, her Endocrinology appointment produced positive news. Avery has gone up on the growth charts a significant amount in all areas (head circumference, height, weight, etc.). I guess we must be doing something right! Surely God is continuing to keep his hands on her- that gives me much needed peace.

Ready for Fall!

Avery's ENT Appointment

I took Avery in for her appointment with Dr. Carron today to check out this ear/hearing situation. It's so funny how different doctors appointments are now that she is walking and more vocal, lol. At least she has a good little personality (that is unless you are trying to examine her- then whewww!). She was smiling and walking up to another lady and her son who were waiting near us. She even shared her cheerios with her old NICU buddy Andrew, when we ran into him and Angela. Now, back to the appointment....I held the little fiesty one down while Dr. Carron tried his best to look in her ears (the nurse had her feet, lol), and the fluid is still on both ears. He said he thought she may have a temper when he came in and saw a red-head. Boy was he right. We will go back in 2 months to check them again, if she still has the fluid, looks like she may get tubes put in. If there is no fluid, then we will re-test her hearing. Dr. Carron didn't seem too concerned, and Avery isn't showing any symptoms of hearing loss, so hopefully, everything will be just fine in that department.

Avery's Hearing Test

Avery had to go to a follow-up visit with the audiologist today, because her last hearing test was pretty much inconclusive due to her being so young. They didn't think anything was wrong at the time, just thought she may do better once she got a little older. I guess that wasn't very accurate. She went today (Jake took her because I am trying to keep from taking off of work), and she tested mild to moderate. The audiologist said it could be due to the fact that Avery has fluid in her ears, so she scheduled an app. with the ear, nose and throat Dr. for Tuesday. Jake said that Avery did fine at first, but then got fussy and the test went down hill after that. How those tests can be accurate with a child her age amazes me any way. Once she got done with the test, they checked her canals, and that didn't go over well either (of course). Now, she will see the ear, nose and throat Dr. and go back for another follow-up. The audiologist says that there may be nothing wrong, but they can't rule it out until she passes. I don't think hearing is a problem for Avery due to the fact that her speech seems to be right on track, and she doesn't show any signs of not hearing well. The way the little woman keeps up with the beat of music makes me think even less of it all! Still, in the back of my mind, I know that hearing loss is associated with TS, and it makes me a little nervous. Hopefully, all is well, and we can rule it out with the next test. Other than that, she has an endocrinology appointment coming up. I don't think there will be any unexpected news there....she may have some blood work done to check thyroid, etc., but I'm thinking it will be more of a check-up to record information on her. She's expected to begin GH injections once she turns 2 this coming summer. Praying for her to keep doing well, and for her hearing to be PERFECT like her sweet little smile!

Start! Heart Walk 2010

This is just another one of those days, that I realize just how blessed we are to have Avery. We spent the afternoon in downtown Jackson at the American Heart Association Heart Walk, and although the crowd was a bit overwhelming when you have a little one, it was great! We finally got to meet a few online 'heart friends' in person at the MS Mended Little Hearts group area. We even saw our wonderful social worker, Gayden, and caught a glimpse of the surgeon we are all so very thankful to have at UMC, Dr. Salazar. Mom and Dad came to support us, and while Dad had to find a shaded area as he is not supposed to be in the sun too much, Avery, Jake, Mom and I all walked the 1 mile route to support heart health and research. Thanks to several wonderful people I know, Avery and I reached our donation goal, and we are thrilled about that! The Hinds Cheerleaders led a warm-up, and Avery was "getting down" to the music- it was so funny. All I can say is, " I wonder where she gets that from?". LOL. She even got a Red Survivor Cap- at least she wore it for a few pics! Hopefully, next year, Jake will be feeling better. He had oral surgery this week, and is still in pain and having complications. Any way, it was a good day for a great cause!

The AHA Heart Walk

This is a video I swiped from Catherine's blog, because I thought it was cute. Catherine said "Not only is it funny, it does a great job of helping you learn more about the importance of the funds raised by the Heart Walk. And the best part is the music video was put together by some of the physicians and staff at Vanderbilt Heart (the group that treats adult patients). I guess not only do they treat patients...they also sing, dance, and support the Nashville Heart Walk too!"
If you haven't signed up for our local heart walk, Sunday, October 10, it's not too late! Also if you'd like to donate, every little bit helps! I've almost reached my goal of $250- just $25 more to go, thanks to Gene Newman, Edie Newman, and Suzanna Flotta! I added the link below if you'd like to visit my CHH page...I'll be walking as part of the MS Mended Little Hearts Team.

I guess we know now!

While we'll never know for sure, our doctor thinks Avery's latest troubles are linked to the Similac recall. Our last 2 Similac containers were involved in the recent recall, which just makes my stomach turn. Because of Avery's weight, we've kept her on formula, along with table food and whole milk, to make sure she is getting all of the nutrients and calories she needs each day. When she doesn't eat much, we try to catch her up in the evenings with formula. Of course, she will always take a bottle. While we've wanted to lose the bottle completely, she will no longer take a pacifier, and has since had her bottle replace it. We only give her the bottle when she feels bad or is very tired and fussy to calm her, but hope to be completely off soon. Any way, now that I have given excuses, lol, let me continue my story. Since she got her last shots and began having the loose stools, etc. per my last post, we began giving her more formula and bottles because that is all she would eat. Apparently, this made things worse, due to the issues with the formula causing "gastro-intestinal discomfort" as their website says. We had almost completely finished the 2nd container by the time this recall was publicized. While I feel the 1st container, which we purchased at Kroger, was not contaminated, I believe the 2nd container from Sam's was contaminated. Her problems began around the time we started that container. As we gave her less formula, she got better, and as she started feeling bad again, and we gave her more formula, her symptoms got worse. I couldn't find anything other that the gastro discomfort for things that can happen. Our nurse told us the problems should discontinue now that we're off the formula. While Avery has been better during the day, and her BMs are no longer loose and causing rash/burn on her bottom, she is still having problems sleeping at night.
I guess it has to be the night terrors again. She wakes up between 12:30 and 1:00 A.M. each night, screaming, non-stop, as if she is in pain or terrified of something. We are unable to wake her and unable to soothe her. It just makes me feel so helpless and when it continues on through the wee hours of the morning, it makes me feel like I am going crazy. When she did it early on as an infant, I read that while doctors do not believe children have them that young, there were other parents out there reporting the same symptoms with their babies who were the same age. Avery hasn't had them for some time now, but the last week, it has happened every night. The formula could have made her stomach hurt through the night and added to it, but I don't think that it is the sole reason for the way she is waking up and crying. It just stinks when you can't do anything to help her. I'm going to do some more research this weekend, and see what I can find out! We have decided to no longer give her formula, but to start her on PediaSure and Boost for extra calories. A friend also sent me some other things to try, while our speech therapist also gave us ways to increase calories in her meals. Next step- to finally separate her from the Ba-Ba for good!

I wish I knew....

Poor Avery, she is having loose stools again. She had them for almost a full week about a week and a half ago, and her little bottom was terrible with diaper burn. I assumed that she had the virus that has been going around. She had her 15 month shots on a Thursday, and the BMs started on Friday. She ran some fever, but that is normal for the shots. Since she was still fussy and doing it on Monday, I called and our sweet nurse told me to put her on clear liquids for 12 hours and bland diet for 12 hours. She also gave me a great cream recipe for my poor baby's bottom (see below). The cream helped, and Avery did a little better with the loose stools, but they really continued until Friday. Any way, she began having them again last night, and had several today, so I called back. They told me to pick up Lactinex, and take a stool sample for them to drop off in the morning. Oh my, this should be fun. My child HATES having her diaper changed, throws a fit even if she is just wet. Now, I am supposed to wrap her bottom in Saran Wrap as not to let the urine contaminate the BM. You should have seen the first time I tried that...I am sure you can picture it and make a good laugh out of it, go ahead, I really don't mind! So, first time was a charm, I wrapped her, and she had a BM shortly after. However, getting the Saran Wrap off of her, they way my child kicks and squirms when changing her diaper...let's just say, NOT EASY! I don't know if it is contaminated or not, so I am going to take a few to be sure. Seriously, she looks like she is doing a head stand when I change her diaper because she arches her back and twists and turns in such a way, she ends up on her head with me holding her feet up! She is going to be a gymnast I tell you!! I guess we will see in a few days if there is something going on when the lab results return. I worry about her doing that, because it is so important for her to gain weight and eat well. Other than that, Avery has begun to have these "night terrors" again. I say again, because she did this when she was about 3-4 months, and it is crazy. She just starts screaming in the middle of the night, and you cannot wake her up or soothe her. No bottle, no rocking, no walking, nothing helps. We try to wake her and talk to her (which I have read is not the answer, but what do you do between 1-3 a.m.??) She gets really worked up as she cries- so upsetting. She just screams until she finally wakes up or she just stops randomly. I just hate NOT knowing what is wrong, and NOT knowing how to make it better. There is no telling what goes through that poor baby's mind when she goes to sleep at night with some of the traumatic experiences she has had. Say a prayer for her if you will, thankfully, God takes care of us every time, and I know it will be better soon. I'm just trying to keep myself from worrying now.
Love,
Megan

God Listens

If you ever think God doesn't care about every little thing in your life and heart- think again. I used to think it silly to bother God with the little things, but as I've grown in my faith, he's revealed the opposite to be true. All of the little things can add up to something really big when we let them. The good thing is if God knows every hair on our head, and the inner most part of our being, he cares about all of those little things indeed. I've been sort of down lately...just feeling a bit overwhelmed with life in general, and overcome with anxiety about all sorts of things. For various reasons, this has been the case, but it is the case none the less. I realized the other night, that I hadn't been praying as much, and may be that was my biggest problem. I also thought about how, when I did pray, I'd strictly prayed for others and not myself. I then began to ask God to take on all of the things that were making my everyday life stressful, and to let me feel his strength, his comfort...that he would give me the kind of peace he has given me before, once again. Amazingly, God came through, as he always does. He is constant and true at all times, and he loves me...what an incredible hope to hold on to. I start to feel guilty because there are so many people I want to pray for and so many situations to remember...then there is my regular family and friend requests, etc. It can be hard to know how to pray and what to say at times. I'm still learning, but God is helping me. Since that point, even with little sleep as Avery has been sick, I have felt renewed in spirit. It's as if he is filtering the way things go through my mind as not to cause worry and anxiety. He's letting me know that "every little thing is gonna be alright" as Bob Marley said. It's funny how he gives you these feelings and thoughts to strengthen you, and he also makes things happen to let you know that he is there and in control. One thing I'd been worried about was this whole CHH thing...just wondering what to do, where to do it, how to do it, and if it would even make a difference. In a day's time, Kathy Means contacted me with the shirt design she'd been working on, and our hospital social worker called to tell me of the needs she would like us to help out with. Do you see how he can speak to you? He was telling me that this was something he set out for me to do, and that it did matter, that I matter. I just feel revitalized now. Even if one person feels prayed for and special through this process, and especially if one person is able to feel the connection to God that I am able to feel, it will be totally worthwhile!
By the way, please see the CHH blog for new posts, as well as the new t-shirt design and Sharpie donation drive for Batson!
Love,
Meg

Avery Walking?!

I'm so excited, scared, and sad at the same time! My little munchkin is beginning to walk! Avery is taking several steps at a time. At first, she'd only take steps when we stood her up and were close enough for her to dive into our arms at the end. Now, however, she has begun to step away from whatever she has pulled up on, and walk away on her own. Everyone tells me that she'll probably be truly walking within a week or so, so we shall see!! Here is the youtube link to see her "pre-walking!"

http://www.youtube.com/user/megbeau2

Avery Update!

I can't believe my munchkin is now 14 months old! She is still a red-headed mess! I'm so glad Avery has such a fun and lively little personality. She is hilarious!
She likes to close her eyes when she smiles and show her teeth. She gives us a look and knod, as if to say 'Whassup?' Avery used to shake her head as if saying "NO" all the time, but these days, she bobs it up and down as if saying, "YES." She does this when we hand her foods she likes, in response to questions, and when she does random acts while playing or moving about the house. She still says "Daddy" all the time in several variations. She has also begun to say "Bobby," which we think is pretty funny. We often ask who Bobby is, and tell her we'd like to meet him.
Avery is still furniture walking and crawling at the moment. She has taken 2 steps to Jake, and 2 steps to me at different points in time, but once she realizes what's going on, she sits down! She is scared of walking!! On the other hand, I am scared of her walking too! When we hold her hands to walk her around, she RUNS!
She is eating much better now. I was really worried about the whole table food thing at first, but since a little time has passed, and we have seen a speech therapist for tips (and she told us nothing is wrong), things are looking up! Avery's favorites are still Chocolate Cheerios, Graduates Lil' Crunchies, graham crackers with Nutella, and the newest sensation, Craisins! She is still very hard headed at times, and will not eat but a bite or two, but take her to El Sombrero or Stix Hibachi, and she'll eat just about anything! As far as drinking, she will take certain sippy cups- none of the spill-proof though. She will drink milk, but is still hooked on the bottle. It is her pacifier, so this is going to be a tough habit to break. I admit, I was working harder on weaning her before school started back. Since then, I have not tried as much. I guess it's time to get her off the ba-ba for good!
She and her cousin, Cooper, finally noticed one another at this weekend's visit! It's going to be so much fun watching them grow and play together. GeGe also gave Avery her first hair cut this weekend. Avery didn't notice much while Daddy held her, Mommy took pics, and GeGe trimmed behind her! I save her little red hair for her keepsake box- don't worry! I'm hoping it will start to grow better now. With her Turner's Syndrome, She has a very low hair line in the back, so it looked like she had a little baby mullet going on back there! Haha, we're going to let it grow out now.
As far as health, Avery has been staying well these days. She did have a runny nose with some sinus junk a few weeks ago, but nothing serious. Her heart looked great at her last echo cardio app., so she won't see Dr. Ebeid for 6 months. We will go in to see Dr. Harmon and get a VCUG for her kidneys soon. We're hoping the reflux is now gone, and everything is functioning well. She hasn't had any problems, so I hope that's a good sign. Avery has been on Amoxicillin for the past year as a prophylactic to prevent infection, but I haven't been very diligent in giving it to her lately. I just hate her being on antibiotic all the time. If the reflux is still there, we will have to schedule a small procedure to get it taken care of. She will be going to her 15 month pediatrician app. next month- shots? Other than that, we go see our Geneticist and Endocrinologist soon for a check-up. She doesn't have to begin her GH shots until the summer, when she is 2.
We have been so blessed with Avery, and some times, I am just overcome with emotion when I look at her. She is a beautiful, happy, and healthy child- who could ask for more? For now, we can just be normal, and it's such a great feeling. A bit of rest until the next procedure or surgery, is a wonderful thing. God is good!

Just Some Pics...