A Feeling I Hate to Remember

Avery and I just enjoyed a fun weekend with my family in Vicksburg. Daddy went out of town for a recruiting trip, so of course, we headed to GG and Papaw's house! We spent time with GG, Papaw, Uncle Mitch, Aunt Becca, and Cooper Friday night. The kids had a great time playing! Avery is now able to climb on the rocking horse by herself- she thinks she is big stuff! On Saturday, GG, Avery, and I went to the outlet mall, and ended up hanging out with Lacey, Ian, and Larissa who had come over to shop. We all went to lunch at Billy's (yummy), and Uncle Mitch, Aunt Becca, and Coop met us there. Afterwards, GG and I wanted to go to Fabs and More (consignment shop) to check out more clothes. Avery ran around the store, and I chased after her. GG helped look after her too. At one point, Avery was right by me as I spoke with the owner about a Christmas outfit. I knew there were stairs behind us, so I kept her close. The next thing I know, Avery darted towards them, as I turned around and said, "No!" All of the sudden, she moved toward the stairs, and went tumbling down. I let out what must have been an awful shriek as I ran to catch her. I just couldn't get to her, until I shouted her name once again and she looked back at me. It seemed to allow her to slow down enough for me to scoop her up into my arms. The stairs are wooden and go down to the basement area, so this was no short, easy fall. So many things flashed in my mind as it was happening....ambulance, hospital, broken limbs, concussion, pain. A vivid picture of Avery lying unconcious at the bottom of the stairs is all I could see. I felt physically ill, and once again, completely out of control. I couldn't catch her, I couldn't do anything...just like when I was pregnant, when she was in the hospital, when she has her surgeries. It is a feeling I haven't felt since her last surgery, a feeling I hate to remember. Amazingly, when I got to her, she didn't seem to have a bump or scratch on her. I was reminded in that instant that the Lord has His hands on my child, and He is in control. How else could my 2 year old have flipped down an old wooden staircase, only to get up without a mark? She settled down from being scared and crying a few minutes later, and never looked back. We had been joking about how Avery is a million dollar miracle baby, because of all her expensive medical care before all of this happened! I guess in the big scheme of things, falling down stairs is a small obstacle in her case. It is the worst feeling ever to feel helpless in regards to your child. Thankfully, I don't have to feel helpless for long, because God is on our side- he is the ultimate Healer, Comforter...the list goes. He is worthy of your praise!